Is He a Girl? Read online

  Patsy laughed.

  “I’m warning you,” said Clarence.

  A crowd gathered around them.

  “Oh, grow up!” said Marvin.

  Clarence glared at Marvin.

  Marvin looked right back at him. Their faces were inches apart.

  “I don’t believe it,” said Marvin. “You get uglier every day.”

  A group of girls laughed.

  Clarence forced a laugh. He turned away. “You’re not worth it,” he said.

  “All right, Marvin!” said Nick, slapping him on the back.

  “Wow,” said Stuart. “You stood up to Clarence.”

  Casey Happleton stared at him, finger in mouth.

  “Weren’t you scared?” asked Nick.

  “No,” said Marvin. “Clarence wouldn’t hit—” Marvin stopped.

  He was confused.

  He was going to say, Clarence wouldn’t hit a girl.

  10

  High Atop the Spiderweb

  “Leave me alone,” said Marvin. He walked away.

  His friends followed.

  “I said leave me alone!”

  Everyone backed off.

  Marvin climbed up the giant spiderweb.

  The rope wiggled under his feet. The higher he got, the more the web seemed to wiggle and shake.

  He reached the very top and looked down at the boys and girls in his class.

  He was confused.

  He had boy thoughts. He had girl thoughts. But he didn’t know which were which.

  Or did it matter? Was there really a difference in the way boys and girls thought?

  He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything.

  He was just very tired.

  He watched Stuart and Nick chase Judy and Casey.

  Judy sang out:

  “Nick is rude.

  Nick is crude.

  Nick eats dog food!”

  Then she ran.

  Nick ran after her.

  Then Marvin heard Casey sing:

  “Stuart is rude.

  Stuart is crude.

  Stuart eats dog food!”

  “I’m going to get you!” yelled Stuart.

  Stuart chased Casey across the swinging bridge.

  Nick chased Judy across the bridge from the other side.

  The girls were trapped in the middle.

  The boys moved in for the kill.

  The girls screamed.

  The boys stopped.

  “Mrs. North!” yelled Judy. “Nick and Stuart keep bothering us.”

  Mrs. North made Nick and Stuart sit on the bench.

  Marvin remembered he used to like to chase the girls too. He always thought the boys were in charge.

  Now he knew. The girls liked to be chased.

  It was a game. And the girls made all the rules. The boys could never win.

  Boys are so stupid, he thought. He couldn’t believe he used to be that stupid, too. It was embarrassing.

  Suddenly his foot slipped off the rope. He almost fell, but grabbed a section of the rope just in time.

  He pulled himself back up.

  He looked around the play area. Clarence, Travis, and Kenny were hanging out. Patsy Gatsby was playing jacks. Casey and Judy were on the swings. Nick and Stuart were on the bench.

  Suddenly Marvin understood.

  “Oh my gosh!” he said. He bit his finger.

  It all became clear to him.

  He understood everything.

  He knew what it felt like to be a boy.

  He knew what it felt like to be a girl.

  And now he knew the real difference between girls and boys. The secret difference!

  He knew the one secret thing boys didn’t understand about girls.

  And he knew the one secret thing girls didn’t understand about boys.

  It was really very simple. The secret difference between girls and boys was—

  Suddenly his foot slipped. He fell off the spiderweb.

  11

  Caught in the Web

  But he never hit the ground.

  Marvin found himself hanging upside down by his knees.

  Just like Judy Jasper.

  He let himself hang there a moment. It felt good.

  Besides, he wasn’t sure how to get free without falling the rest of the way.

  “Hey, Marvin!” called Nick. “How’d you do that?”

  “Marvin, are you all right?” called Mrs. North.

  “I think so,” he said.

  He tried to get back up. He swung by his knees, reached out, and grabbed the web with one hand.

  He wove his arm in and out of the web to get a good grip. Then he slowly freed one leg.

  “Careful,” said Mrs. North.

  He pulled on the web with his free hand.

  The next thing he knew, his elbow jerked almost to his mouth.

  He pulled the web again.

  Again his elbow jerked toward his mouth.

  He pulled, then kept on pulling.

  His elbow moved closer. It felt like his arm was breaking.

  He stretched out his lips.

  “What are you doing, Marvin?” Stuart called up to him.

  It felt like his shoulder was about to pop out.

  He gave it one hard yank!

  The next thing he knew, he was falling headfirst toward the ground.

  “Marvin!” screamed Patsy.

  But as his head hit the sand, he kissed himself on the elbow.

  “Marvin, are you okay?” asked Mrs. North.

  “Are you all right, Marvin?” asked Patsy.

  “Should we call an ambulance?” asked Stuart.

  “Hey! Are you dead?” asked Clarence.

  Marvin opened his eyes.

  “I saw,” said Casey.

  12

  Normal

  Monday morning Marvin walked to school with Nick and Stuart. He tossed his football up in the air.

  He never could remember the secret difference between girls and boys.

  That was silly anyway, he realized. I just had weird thoughts because I was so tired.

  Boys don’t turn into girls!

  All he had needed was a good night’s sleep. And then he was back to normal.

  Except he really did have a cold. Which was why his voice sounded so strange.

  Girls are just stupid and weird. That’s the secret difference between boys and girls!

  He entered his classroom. Clarence was sharpening his pencil.

  Marvin suddenly remembered all the things he had said to Clarence at Lake Park.

  I must have been out of my mind! I could have been killed!

  He decided to apologize, just to be safe.

  Clarence backed up when he saw Marvin. “What do you want?” he asked. He sounded nervous.

  “Just, uh, sorry about Friday. I didn’t get much sleep and I didn’t know what I was saying.” Marvin held out his hand. “Okay?”

  Clarence smiled. He no longer seemed nervous. “Yeah, well, you’re lucky I didn’t knock your teeth out,” he said. He shook Marvin’s hand.

  As Marvin walked to his desk, Clarence shoved him in the back.

  “I saw you!” said Casey. “When you fell from the spiderweb. You kissed your elbow!”

  “And I’m still a boy,” said Marvin. “So that just proves you’re weird!”

  Casey sang very softly so only Marvin could hear:

  “Marvin’s rude.

  Marvin’s crude.

  Marvin eats donkey food!”

  “I’ll get you at recess, Casey!” he said.

  “Marvin?” said Mrs. North. “What was that?”

  “Marvin won’t quit bothering me,” Casey complained. “He said he was going to get me at recess.”

  “Marvin, quit bothering Casey,” said Mrs. North. “I know she’s pretty, but you need to keep your eyes on your book. Not on Casey.”

  Everyone laughed. Marvin turned red.

  At recess he headed to the wall-ball court with Nick and
Stuart.

  “Look, there’s Patsy Gatsby,” said Nick.

  Marvin and Stuart laughed.

  Patsy Gatsby was playing jacks by herself.

  Of all the weird things he did on Friday, Marvin thought, talking to her was the weirdest.

  He shook his head. He remembered his conversation with her. She said he was nice.

  Patsy looked up from her jacks. “Hi, Marvin,” she said.

  He walked right past her.

  “Hi, Mar-vin,” Stuart said with a funny voice as he gently shoved Marvin.

  Nick laughed.

  Marvin pushed Stuart back.

  They got in line for wall-ball.

  Marvin looked at Patsy. She didn’t have any friends. Everyone just made fun of her.

  “Hold my place,” he said.

  He went back to her.

  He still thought jacks looked like a fun game. But he was embarrassed to play it.

  “Hey, Patsy. Do you want to play wall-ball?”

  Patsy quickly stuffed her jacks into her pocket. She came to the wall-ball court, all smiles.

  “I promised I’d teach her how to play,” Marvin explained to his friends.

  “Hi,” said Patsy.

  “Uh, hi,” said Stuart.

  Nick grunted.

  Don’t miss a single Marvin!

  Marvin’s friends think he’s the luckiest boy in the world when Mrs. North asks him to dog-sit for a week. He gets $3 a day, plus a $4 bonus if nothing goes wrong. And he gets to be alone in Mrs. North’s house!

  “Sachar’s finely tuned sense of how children think and feel makes his fourth book about Marvin and his comic misadventures entertaining.”

  —The Horn Book Magazine

  “Marvin’s going to use the bathroom in Mrs. North’s house!”

  —Melanie, Marvin’s classmate

  It’s “hole day” at school, and even Mrs. North and the principal are wearing their worst clothes. But now they’re expecting company—the president of the United States is on his way! And there’s no time to change!

  “The story hums along with its own cheerful energy, much like Marvin himself.”

  —Kirkus Reviews

  “Good job, Marvin.”

  —The president

  About the Author

  Louis Sachar has never kissed his elbow and has never been a girl. But even though he now has both a wife and a daughter, Louis says he is still trying to figure out the secret difference between girls and boys.

  Louis Sachar is the author of some of the funniest books for middle-grade readers and the winner of seventeen Children’s Choice Awards. His books include the Newbery Medal-winning Holes. He lives in Austin, Texas, with his wife, Carla, and their daughter, Sherre.